Politeness or a Burden? When Our Indecision Weighs on Others
Imagine you are hanging out with friends or eating at a restaurant with your family. When someone picks up the menu and asks, "What should we eat?" many of us quickly say, "Order anything for me. Whatever you guys are having is fine." We think this is very polite. We believe we are being flexible and easygoing. But have you ever thought about how much stress this "polite" behavior puts on the other person's brain? The Burden of Decision When you say "anything is fine," you are actually pushing the responsibility of the decision onto someone else. In computer science terms, you are giving your "cognitive load" (mental effort) to another person. Now your friend has to do several difficult tasks for you: They have to think about what you like or dislike. They have to remember if you have any allergies or a specific diet. They have to search the entire menu to find something that works for both of you. This whole process is very tiring ...